My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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