we have pet lesbian snakes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
