Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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