when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
