nut hugger
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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