Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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