Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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