i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Damn victory sex feels great
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