After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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