the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Of course I have a pirate flag
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
