Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I love having hate sex.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
