I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize