She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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