Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize