now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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