Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
