I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
