I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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