You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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