wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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