i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
