Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
