I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
