Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Never underestimate the power of titties
How naked do you want me to be?
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