Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You can't special order awesome
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
