girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
