I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
