i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
