Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
