I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
