if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
