i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
