I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize