i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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