You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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