is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
