NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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