good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
