; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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