she was so not down for the gang bang
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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