My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
