My nipple is on Facebook.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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