Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize