i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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