Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
