Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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