Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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