Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
