i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize