1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Umm I'm too high to move.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
