So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she told me i tasted like america
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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