WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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