Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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