Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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