I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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