this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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