That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
