haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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